The American government has decided it will pay out $1billion in compensation to several Native American tribes for "mishandling of Native American monies and properties". Or in civilian speak "for robbing the shit out of a people and culture".
The head of American Indian relations Mr. Horny. Buttroofer said:
"The steps taken by the government are on behalf of all of the American people. They are designed to help reduce the nations feeling of collective guilt for all those Indian burial grounds we built NASCAR tracks on."
The compensation will be paid out in $1 payments stretched out over a period of 500 years, in a effort to stop Indians spending it all on "fire water". Or as the English call it Budweiser. It will also come as specially printed "Indian Currency" Chief Walking With Limp commented.
"This is great day for my people. We are grateful to the US government for sending the compensation in the way they did. Now my people can retire to the 7ft by 9ft reservation we have been allocated and live as proudly as our ancestors did. If our ancestors happened to be laboratory mice"