Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 7 April 2012

image for Mitt Romney Has Finally Decided On His Official Campaign Song
Mitt Romney shown campaigning in Joliet, Illinois. (Photo courtesy of Ke$ha).

JOLIET, Illinois - After six of Mitt Romney's campaign aides conducted an extensive song research the man who appears poised to be the representative of the GOP for the nation's highest office has finally announced his official campaign song.

Willard Mitt Romney, 65, sat down with Tabitha Tula Wishywater of GOPicky Magazine at a Captain Cluckity Cluck Cluck's Chicken Shack in the town of Joliet, Illinois, which is known as "The Town Southwest of Chicago."

"Old Mittens" as Ron Paul loves to call him, stated that he was overjoyed to announce that after three weeks of milling over thousands of songs he and his Campaign Song Finding Committee have reached a song decision.

The Campaign Song Finding Committee consists of himself, his wife Ann Lois, 62, and a second cousin Tempura "Freckles" Pinnwiddie, 71, (who drives the campaign bus).

The three have decided on a song that they feel truly expresses his political history and represents his presidential future.

Romney joked that he had to veto his wife's choice of Rod Stewart's "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy."

He smiled and added that "Freckles" choice of the Kinks' "A Dedicated Follower of Fashion" was also stricken from the list.

Romney said that after hours and hours of deliberation he finally decided to pick Britney Spears song "Oops...I Did It Again!" as his official presidential campaign song.

When asked by Miss Wishywater why he chose that particular song he grinned and stated that there were several reasons. One he really loves the melody. Two, he likes the lyrics. Three, it is a catchy song title. Four, Britney Spears is very pretty. And five, the song is very easy to dance to.

Miss Wishywater got a puzzled look on her face and asked him about the connotations that many voters would take the title to mean "Oops...I Did It Again!"

She expressed the belief that the title could be taken as meaning that oops he flip-flopped again.

Romney got a very serious look on his face. He shook his head. He asked Wishywater to excuse him for a moment as he picked up his cell phone.

He called Mrs. Romney. "Hey hon, I think that I have decided to go with your song choice. Yes, I know that many will no doubt think that I am one conceited son-of-a-gun but please trust me on this one. I'll explain when I get home. Okay, milk, eggs, and bread. Gotcha. Bye Muffin Mix."

Shortly after the interview. Miss Wishywater was able to contact a spokesperson for Rod Stewart and informed him that Mitt Romney was going to use Stewart's song "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy" as his official campaign song.

The spokesman replied that Mr. Stewart would not allow the song to be used unless Romney agreed to pay a fee of $10,000 per each time it was used.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: So I guess it looks like it's going to be song choice number three "A Dedicated Follower of Fashion" by the Kinks.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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