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Thursday, 5 April 2012

image for The Whiskey and Overlooked Sexual Rebellion of 1791 Revealed
"Whiskey and Sex!"

Pittsburgh PA: The Whiskey Rebellion of 1791 was a tax protest during the presidency of George Washington. Farmers selling their grain as distilled whiskey had to pay a new sin tax, which they strongly resented. The tax was a part of Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton's program to pay down the national debt.

Sounds all too familiar, but the rebellion was finally put down in Pennsylvania and several other states in 1794. However, history has omitted the sexual part of the rebellion. The whiskey producers were grain farmers who also raised pigs and sheep for wool and meat.

One enterprising grain farmer of German ancestry made different kinds of sausages (Wurst) which he sold to his neighbors, general stores, travelers and inn keepers. After a time the women of the town noticed that Hans' wife Hilda only had three children, while they all had eight or ten children. Somebody opined that the town's ladies of the evening never seemed to get pregnant!

Hans admitted that he made devices out of left over animal parts that could be used by men and women to enjoy sex, while avoiding pregnancy. The town was split over this issue, as some argued that many children were needed to work their farms and others who worked hard only wanted small families. Hans agreed to sell his devices to anyone who desired them.

After a time a stranger rode into town from Washington DC, who represented the US Treasury Department, with a proposal to levy a sin tax on the devices that Hans' sold. Additionally, another proposal under consideration would provide Hans' devices free to all and levy a tax on everyone in the 13 states.

The whiskey distillers fled to the states of Kentucky and Tennessee where the collection of the whiskey tax was not enforced. It is unknown where Hans went, but Washington DC still remains the same!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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