Written by Gregamemnon
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Saturday, 31 March 2012

image for Doomsday "Prophet" Harold Camping Postpones Rapture To October 21, 20-*Cough Cough*
Camping claims the rapture was always in the bible, as Jesus says in I Cor 15, "The Rapture shall cometh on [giant ink blot]"

ALAMEDA, CA-In the wake of his failed prediction of a May 21, 2011 world end date, Harold Camping took to his radio show to inform the people that the world would now end on October 21, 20-HUHK HUHK HUHK, HUHK HUHK, HUHK HUHK.

Camping made it clear that he was not off on the dates, but that May 21st was simply a "spiritual" beginning of the end, and that the real end would come on October 21, 20-AAAAAAAAACHHOOOOOO!!

Camping says he's aware that he lost many of his followers after this and his previous failed prediction in 1994, but is confident that come the 21st of October, 20-AAAAACK ECHEM, he and 200 million of the most pure souls will be lifted up to heaven, while the rest of the world is subject to a swift and violent apocalypse.

In just five short months, his truest followers will wait patiently for the bloody rapture to arrive, and if it doesn't, continue to wait another 365 days for the October 21st they totally knew he had said all along.

Of course, there are skeptics out there who claim the convenient timing of Camping's bodily noises allow him to technically avoid being wrong for the better part of the next hundred years. Those same skeptics also claim the subsequent use of such soundboard sounds as the barking dog, the car alarm, and the long, rumbling fart were also strategically pressed to avoid committing to a specific date this time around.

The only real way to know for sure is to wait until October 21, 20-[inaudible mumbling] to find out if the world does, in fact, end in a fiery shitstorm of apocalyptic proportions.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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