Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 31 March 2012

image for 'Very close relative' of Obama's Chief Performance Office CEO Jeff Zients 'is Mega Millions $640 million lotto winner': reports
US lottery poster seen in Red Bud, St Louis

Maryland, USA - Highly placed sources are naming 'an extremely close relation' of the President's Office of Management and Budget CEO as one of three $640 million Mega Millions lottery winners.

The lucky ticket consisting of randomly-selected numbers was purchased in Maryland close to Jeffrey Zients' home turf according to a QM-NewsCorpse stringer.

Zients, 46, heads the Administration's Accountable Government Initiative and was voted one of Fortune Magazine's '40 under 40' in 2000 as one of the US's up-and-coming high-fliers with an estimated wealth of $150 million.

This weekend a Baltimore County 7-11 lottery ticket retailer hinted heavily that the Zients relation is one of the winning ticketholders who would get $213 million, less tax.

Meanwhile at Red Bud, St Louis in the State of Illinois rumors abound that a close associate of ex-Obama Chief of Staff and current Mayor of Chicago Rahm Emanuel may be another lucky Mega Millions winner (You sure about this bollox? -'Ed')

The freakish co-incidence is being dismissed in Capitol Hill as largely unsubstantiated despite widespread rumormill suggestions that it's a classic example of 'God Helps Those Who Help Themselves'.

In 2010 QM-NewsCorpse saucers named a Tory front bench MP as the lucky bastard - er...winner! - who scooped a £113 million EuroMillions jackpot which, unlike the American equivalent, is not subject to taxation.

Subsequent inquiries suggested British Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne was the lucky sod who won the dosh, a rumor never admitted nor denied in Parliament.

Bernie Madoff is 69.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 5?

2 23 20 12

Go to top