Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: Theft, hoodies

Friday, 30 March 2012

image for Black White Bank Robber Sues Police for Arresting him for Wearing a Hoodie
I got this hoodie at Woodies.

Black white guy, Jerry DeBungle, is suing the Miami, Florida police department for arresting him while trying to rob an East Miami, Crooked Bank. The 35 year old Mr. DeBungle claims the only reason he was arrested is because he was wearing a hoodie which he had recently purchased at a Woodie's Hoodies, Guns and Golf shop. Mr. DeBunk is, also, claiming that he was targeted because he is a black white guy.

The incident occurred at noon today when Mr. DeBungle burst into the bank wearing a black hoodie with the hoodie down and immediately shot up a potted Azalea Topiary plant with a Fosters and Smith 44 Magnum. He then grabbed hold of another potted Azalea Topiary plant, held a gun to it and demanded $842.37 or else he would shoot all the flowers off the 'son of bitch'.

He threw a Mickey Mouse Bank at the teller, who was a cream-colored Asian girl, and ordered her to fill it up with quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies and not to be funny and sneak in any of those Canadiany type coins that he keeps getting from the clerks at those 24 hour convenience stores. He said that if she ripped him off he was going to 'get back at her' by egging her house.

Two police officers, a light-brown black guy and a paisley-white white guy, arrived at the scene 20 minutes into the robbery and arrested Mr. DeBungle by throwing plant food in his eyes, wrestling him to the floor and beating him with a Donald Duck coffee mug before cuffing him.

Mr. DeBugle's lawyer, Edwin Meisterfibber, displayed a third grade picture of Mr. DeBungle strangling a lady bug and stated to the press:

"Are you trying to tell me that this innocent kid committed a horrific crime? No way. This whole incident is a conspiracy and a fraud. It has racism written all over it and is completely full of money, money, and more money for me".

When it was pointed out that Mr. DeBungle admitted to police and the press to bringing a loaded gun into the bank and shooting it, Mr. Meisterfibber responded:

"The gun was for protection. Just look all around you, will you? Banks are robbing people of money left and right, Mr. DeBungle had the gun to protect him from being mugged by the bank. Further more. Mr. DeBungle was in the bank making a simple withdrawal that he was going to use at a later date to come back to the bank and set up a legitimate checking account and take advantage of the accounts 0.000001 percent interest rate compounded monthly that would never accrue due to monthly account fees".

"Had my client been a white white guy or a not-so-white white guy wearing a hoodie and carrying a gun none of this would ever have happened".

To protest the arrest, not-so-civil rights leader, blackish-black guy,I.B. Bullshit, is staging a rally outside the Miami Police Department where everyone will wear hoodies and use Fosters and Smith 44 Magnums to shoot up the tulips that are planted in front of the building.

When asked about the protest a reserved light-blue white police chief Donny Oversight said:

"Hell, we couldn't care less about those flowers. They're going to be replaced with potted Azalea Topiary plants next month anyway".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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