PHILADEPHIA, PN (ABSNN)-W.C. Fields was once asked about Boston or maybe it was Providence, some old Yankee City, if he liked the place. He said, "On the whole I'd rather be in Philadelphia." One wonders if he was a gay Catholic.
The City of Brotherly Love has certainly showed its catholic brothers (grandfathers, fathers and sons) no surfeit of loving. And what a high time they had supping at that banquet! They must have supped too much and too regularly, and of course, Gluttony is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. The Bible says (more or less) 'Be sure your sins shall find you out.'
Apparently it has. And the additional sin of Lust has been the apparent after-dinner dessert.
In point of fact, however, a quick Google of Sex Crimes in Pennsylvania lists hundreds (probably some the same) of accounts of Roman Catholic priests, bishops, football coaches, deacons and, Methodists pastors and assorted other religious men to have a randy nature not unlike our Founding Father Ben Franklin's. I thought Franklin was a Quaker.
Whatever he was, the Holy Bother, Pope Bentdick XXXIII fired the reigning Archbishop of Philadelphia, Justin Cardinal Regali, and is transferring in a Colorado replacement. Today, a Roman Catholic is answering court charges that he was the one responsible for covering up priestly child molesters and giving them free reign.
"They may convict the old ass; I hope they do, but these are God's own. Why hasn't he sent down fire to roast them all," asked on journalist on a smoke break between court actions.
"Nothing is likely to change," he moaned.
I think they need to change their diets and eat more fruit. Ahhh, I forgot, they do eat fruit, or they are fruits, but I cannot write that. Not PC," another said.
"I'm gay and I'm a Catholic. I'm not interested in boys. And believe me, there are no more homosexuals in Philly than in other large cities. What is with these people?"
"There are so many of them they should just come out and stop harrassing children. There are more than enough of us here to accomodated them," said yet another reporter.
The answer is on Google. I don't think they've read it. And the answer is …