Washington DC: An extremely bright light was visually observed hovering high over the White House. The light could be seen as far away as Chicago IL, yet area air traffic control RADAR screens were completely blank.
The light was definitely identified as emanating from an unidentified flying object (UFO) when an alien voice made contact, indicating that the aliens came in peace and were bringing Earthlings good news. Their home planet had had a gasoline shortage so they developed a fuel called @*$!#%# that is easy to manufacture, inexpensive and creates jobs. We are here to give you the formula, as good interplanetary neighbors!
The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) immediately invoked 2,500 pages of regulations! The rabid environmentalists ranted about doing harm to the endangered Tasmanian Cockroach, threatening lawsuits. PETA and animal rights activists thought the fuel might be made from alien animal fur. Congressional Democrats immediately wanted to tax the new fuel.
The White House presidential press secretary indicated that President Obama was in South Korea and would not be back for a couple of days, but I can give you his cell phone number.
The alien voice spoke again indicating that all other world nations had already accepted the formula for @*$!#%# and production would begin immediately. The bright light arched upwards into the sky and disappeared.
Vice President Biden later said "Oh Sh*t!"