The entire Republican presidential race took an unexpected turn when Newt Gingrich got hold of Mitt Romney's etch a sketch and shook the crap out of it. The incident occurred at a Houma, Louisiana gumbo bar called Mumbo Dumbo's Gumbo where both candidates happened to be hanging out slugging down Sazerac cocktails, when they began arguing about who was a better etch a sketcher.
Somewhere in the argument a very inebriated Romney started belittling a more inebriated Gingrich by telling him that he can draw Gingrich with his etch a sketch with a huge mosquito bite on his big fat butt. Gingrich became enraged and held out his right hand in front of Romney's face and said: "pick two". Romney chose two fingers which Gingrich used to poke Romney in the eyes. While Romney wheeled blindly around screaming: "Why I oughta.." Gingrich grabbed Romney's etch a sketch and violently shook it.
Before Romney could recover, Gingrich pulled Romney's suit jacket over his head and ran out of the bar leaving Romney with the bar tab.
"I cannot believe that fat fuck Gingrich", stated an angry and very hung over Romney at today's press conference, whom was holding a bag of ice over his head. "Not only did he erase my entire campaign strategy that was on my etch a sketch, he also, broke one of the dials. What is worse is that he took my credit card from my suit jacket and maxed it out at a local strip club. It was so embarrassing when my credit card was declined when I tried to pay the bar tab. I had to promise the bar's owner the position of Secretary of State if I won the election in order to keep from getting thrown into the slammer".
Later on in the day, Romney received even more bad news when it was discovered that his campaign workers never backed up his etch a sketch, which means that his entire campaign strategy had been lost.
Upon hearing about the news about Romney's etch a sketch, other Republican candidates have made changes to avoid committing the same mistakes.
For instance, Newt Gingrich has decided to put his entire campaign strategy in a set of Lincoln Logs while Rick Santorum has put his in a set of Lego pieces and Ron Paul just put his six feet under the ground.