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Saturday, 24 March 2012

image for United States to be Homogeneous by 2020

Washington DC: President Obama has issued an Executive Order that the USA will become homogeneous by 2020 (next census). This new order does not exclude homosexuals (Gays and Lesbians) or transgender persons.

President Obama was reading the 2010 Census Report while aboard Air Force One in-route to a campaign rally. He noticed that the US population breakdown ratio was 72.4% White (Caucasian and Hispanics), 12.6% Black, 4.8% Asian and other 10.2% (American and Alaskan Indians, native Hawaiians, Pacific Islanders, etc).

The president wondered aloud if it was possible for every American to get to know each other. The president's key political advisors thought that since the US is a mobile society, everyone could be relocated to a different city every two years in accordance with maintaining the census ratio figures. Obviously there would be some exceptions, e.g. cities in Alaska above the Arctic Circle.

President Obama has asked Congress for legislation to establish the Population Moving System Administration (PMSA), with a sizable budget. The president made the case to a skeptical Congress that millions of new jobs would be created, new skills learned and ObamaCare would cover every American anywhere. The real estate/housing markets would boom; moving companies would prosper; interstate commerce would increase; trains, buses and airline ticket sales would flourish; automobile sales would skyrocket; and no American would ever do home improvement projects themselves again, but hire a contractor.

The PMSA would be charged with matching relocated people's existing jobs to positions available in the new city or providing training funds where there is no match. Wall Street brokers/bankers might become fisherman; teachers might become steel workers; engineers might become farmers; farmers might become politicians; occupy protester might even have jobs; and garbage collectors could become ballet dancers. The US military would be exempt.

The presidentially appointed Director PMSA would be a new cabinet member. The Director PMSA still needs to work out some thorny issues as what to do with people who won't relocate, say to Guam; the minimum population size of the cities the new law would apply to; the growing diverse Hispanic population within the census figures; maintaining 50% women; religious belief distribution within the relocated populations, including atheists; and the number of additional White Houses and Congressional buildings.

Gigantic twenty foot diameter people moving pipelines within the lower 48 states were proposed by Congressional Republicans, but the president threatened to veto this amendment to the PMSA legislation. Both Houses of Congress desire bipartisan discussions, prior to passage of any bill. Democratic House Minority Leader Pelosi said "let's pass the PMSA legislation to find out what's in it!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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