Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: Marriage, Divorce

Friday, 23 March 2012

image for Engaged Couple Daydreams about Marriage, Kids, Divorce and Both of them Eventually Trying to Kill Each Other
Isn't marriage wonderful?

Clearwater, Florida engaged couple Larry Slick and Dianne Vindicated sat on the shores of the Gulf of Mexico and daydreamed about how their future together would pan out. As the sun slowly sank over the Gulf's horizon, Larry mused about the fist fight which would occur between his and Dianne's relatives at their reception being held at the local Burger King.

Dianne smiled as she conjured up images of her and her bridesmaids running about drunker than a one-eyed skunk with their dress tops pulled down. They would come up to each of their guests and lift their dresses to show everyone that they were not wearing any underwear.

They both smiled when they thought about the 2 children that they would have together and how they would fight over whether to name them Tom and Jerry after the cartoon duo as Dianne would suggest or Kid-1 and Kid-2 as Larry would demand.

When their kids got to the ages of 10 and 8 and 31/2 months, they would both confront each other after finding out that they were both cheating on each other. On one occasion Dianne would use one of the antique vases she had received as wedding gift to throw at Larry who would duck, leaving the vase to end up crashing into the head of Larry's best friend Don. Don would end up in a coma which he would never come out of while neither Larry or Dianne would be charged with a crime as both of them would collaborate the story that Don had clumsily stumbled into the flying vase while in a drunken stupor.

They both would laugh to themselves when thoughts of divorce occurred and each would hire an expensive lawyer only to find out that Larry had lost all of their life savings when he invested it all in a company that made solar powered garbage disposals, six months prior. In the end they would have to sell their house so that each of them could pay their attorneys who would gleefully walk away with every last penny that they had, although the attorneys would give each of them a coupon for a free McDonald's large fries. I guess in their case fries will come with their divorce.

After their divorce they would each deviously plot to kill each other and make it look like an accident. This would lead to Dianne's eventual arrest and conviction when she would hire an Al Qaeda terrorist to sneak into Larry's apartment while he was asleep, turn the kitchen range gas on and set a candle on the opposite side of the room to blow up the place along with Larry. Unfortunately, the terrorist happened to be Osama Bin Laden's second and a half cousin and was under observation by the FBI. In the end, the plan would actually work and not only would Larry get killed but also the terrorist who would forget to leave the apartment before it blew up.

Their final thoughts were on their kids who would grow up parentless and become very successful divorce lawyers and spend the rest of their days destroying people.

The future holds so much for them. All they have to do is live it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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