Written by Abel Rodriguez
Print this

Monday, 2 April 2012

image for Vice-President Joe Biden Vows To Implement Presidential Election "On Line Voting"
Vice-President Joe Biden plans to implement "On-Line Voting" for the upcoming presidential election.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Vice-President Joe Biden recently stated that being the vice-president of the United States is the greatest job that a person could ever have.

He noted that very little is expected of you and 90 percent of the time your official duties simply amount to meeting with the president and assuring him that his latest plan or idea is absolutely fantastic.

The vice-president recently met with Sinclair Petaluma, a reporter with Political Salad Bar. The two had lunch at Vice-President Biden's favorite hamburger establishment The Burger Mistress Bar & Grill in downtown D.C.

Biden had the usual The Pancho Villa Deluxe Double Meat Cheeseburger, which consists of two beef patties, two slices of cheese, topped with refried beans and six slices of avocado.

Petaluma had the Intern Burger, which is a single meat burger served without lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, mustard, mayonnaise, or anything else.

The vice-president asked Petaluma if he was on a tight budget or what. The reporter smiled and nodded that he was. Biden then informed the counter employee to slap a slice of cheese on the Intern Burger and that he would pay for it.

After the two finished their meal Petaluma asked the vice-president about the upcoming presidential election. Biden smiled and said that he hopes that Mitt Romney is the GOP nominee.

When asked why, he grinned and replied "Because he has that used car salesman look and I really do not think that too many people trust him."

Biden then added that "Old Mittens" has alienated a lot of the American people by referring to Newt Gingrich as Captain Kangaroo, Rick Santorum as Richard Simmons, and Ron Paul as Rip Van Winkle.

He went on to say that a lot of people did not like Romney's interview with Bill O'Reilly where he stated that the girls east of the Mississippi River are a lot prettier than the girls west of the Mississippi River.

Petaluma asked Biden about his new voting proposal. The vice-president brimmed with pride as he remarked that his main priority at the moment is to see about implementing a new revolutionary voting concept of having the American voters vote for the president of the United States on line.

He explained that the countries of Luxembourg and Dutch West Wakaboonka have already established OLV or On-Line Voting and that it works great.

The vice-president noted that both countries saw 100 percent of all of their eligible voters vote in their presidential elections.

Congressman Ron Paul, who is 76, has stated that he is totally in favor of Vice-President Biden's On-Line Voting process.

Paul was asked if he was still seriously thinking about running as an independent candidate.

He smiled and said that with the On Line Voting millions of his supporters who are old and cannot get out to vote will be able to vote for him without even leaving their homes.

The Texas congressman expressed that he feels that he has a very good chance of defeating both President Barack Obama and CEO Mitt Romney.

FOOTNOTE: GOPicky Magazine has reportedly written that Romney is very, very concerned about Vice-President Biden's OLV proposal and he has vowed to do everything within his political power to see to it that it is not implemented even if he has to file a personal lawsuit against Vice-President Biden.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 2?

2 4 19 6
51 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more