Written by Gregamemnon
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Thursday, 22 March 2012

image for Older Person Did Things Drastically Different When He Was The Age Of A Younger Person
Mr. Jacobson claims that in his day, a stupid article such as this would be printed on paper, as God intended.

CINCINATTI, OH-Local old man Carl Jacobson has reportedly done next to nothing in the same way as his grandson Peter did when he was his ripe young age of 14. Whether due to the limited technologies of the time, economic hardships, or simply a relentless stubbornness that would simply not allow him to do anything the easy way, Mr. Jacobson has seen and done it all, just not in a way that any spoiled little brat these days could possibly understand.

His poor grandson claims he can't even turn on the television without his well-intentioned grandfather telling him that when he was his age, they had to go over and manually crank the dial on their 10-inch black and white set just to watch a program. Or, whenever he hopped into the family minivan to go to soccer practice, he got a lecture on how, when his grandfather was his age, they were forced to get around in horse-drawn carriages because motorized vehicles weren't a luxury that had been invented yet.

And soccer, he would say, was just a bunch of neighborhood kids kicking a large, sharp rock into a hand-dug hole.

At press time, a very confused Peter was seen attempting to piece together just how old his crazy grandfather really was.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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