While abusing women in public, the CIA has gotten information that the Iranian government has an army of 10,000 women ninja warriors.
Why this isn't getting out to the Western powers I don't know, because it's right there in print in the 'Strange News' of the day. Oh, it may be weird, but the news should be a sober one to those who have any idea what ninja training consists of.
"I've seen a man sitting comfortably in a Lazy Boy chair watching a football game and the next thing you know, he's still sitting there, with his head in his lap. Never saw a thing coming!", stated one Navy SEAL on condition that his name not be revealed, especially to the female ninjas.
The women are being trained by a six-foot-six Amazon by the name of ********. (Oh no, you're not going to catch me trying to finish this article with my head in my lap.)
The training is apparently so strenuous that only half of the women make it through. The other half wind up with their heads in their laps. Or in case of one 'Gomer Ali', with her head up her ass!
While Iran flaunts it's nuclear program, it is keeping quiet about the female ninjas or the 'War Whores From Hashtrud'! In fact, many of the mullahs have become afraid for themselves, as these ladies could actually take over the whole country any time they wish.
Some think that's why Iran is working so feverishly on their underground nuclear program...trying desperately to defend themselves.
One final rumor, which comes straight from the Navy SEAL: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is actually a female who wasn't tall enough for the female ninjas. So he had a sex change.
This is Ali Ben Cartwright, trying to keep my head when those all around me are losing theirs, undercover here in Tehran!