Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Monday, 19 March 2012

The three remaining Republican candidates for President of the United States held a rare joint press conference his morning and issued a statement that most observers are saying will cut across all race, party, gender, income, and ethnic lines. The issue at hand; Obama couldn't get past the first rounds of March Madness with correct picks!

"He never has been in touch with real Americans," said Rick Santorum. "Duke! He picked Duke! What a snob! I guess Lehigh and average middle class Americans never entered his mind. We are just now seeing the REAL Obama! What do Muslims know about basketball anyway!? For shame!"

Newt Gingrich quickly followed on Santorum's statement. "It's not the fist time that Barack Obama has worshiped a false idol. Duke! Those people live in a different world, a world of elites, pussy footing professors, and SAT scores that are eight times higher than most folks bowling average. The only time they get their hands dirty is when," he paused, "they are patting us on the head. For myself, I would like to see the REAL brackets that Obama filled out or are they with that birth certificate from Honolulu?"

The last to comment was Mist Romney. Looking somewhat confused, he smiled, tugged at the sleeves of his cashmere sweater and added, "Brackets? Brackets? I am in the highest income bracket that the IRS has to offer! I pay a full 14 percent!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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