ALEXANDRIA, VA (ANSNN) -- Two years ago this past February, I reported on the unveiling off the Obama 2012 Campaign Slogan, "I boned your Momma!" It was kicked off at the Hooter's on Elm Street in NW Washington, D.C. Twenty-four months later, the Obama Campaign has raised $95,000,000 in sales of Tee shirtsw, coffee mugs and bumper srickers. That is a major Bone of contention to fundamentalist ministers to whom the late Barry Goldwater seemed like a leftist fairy.
The Right Reverend John Holmes, D.D., rallied a staggering fifteen protestors outside the Alexandria Hooters where Obama, recently returned from an alien abduction, was holding a rally himself. Bearing signs that read, "My mother has never been boned," and "The only boneing Obama ever did was to play with his," the handful of protestors were immediately silence when six Hooters Girls flashed them in the parking lot.
One by one, the protestors followed the comely young women inside, while Reverend Holms, formerly a dead pornographic actor with an astounding penis of over twelve inches (although this reporter has never seen it or one of his movies), cried pitiably to them to stand firm.
"Oh, it's firm, alright Pastor," said the last man to leave him alone in the deserted lot. "It's firm."