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Friday, 16 March 2012

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"I think he died happy!"

The editor of the Oregonian Organ's Editorial Pages for many years has died of cardiac arrest following having sex with a young lady he has apparently been helping through college for some time now.

The young lady told police officers that Dwight Lindsey had never given her money for the sex but had paid for her tuition and for her college books. "Some of them cost $500 or more."

"We can't prove otherwise so no charges of prostitution have been brought against the 22-year-old", stated Officer Henry Crabtree of Pokey City, Oregon. "I don't think we've had a case like this before."

Friends of the family say that the late Lindsey's widow and children apparently knew nothing about what was going on.

"We did wonder why Dwight was always wearing a big smile when he came out of the drugstore", stated a cousin that lived nearby and often gave Lindsey a lift. "Sometimes he would have a bottle of pills in his pocket that he would pat and sometimes they rattled when he walked back to the car. Also, he never wanted me to go in with him."

Neighbors of the young lady involved stated that Lindsey was over there fairly often. "Oh, he was in and out over there all the time", stated one.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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