Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Friday, 16 March 2012

image for Cameron Warns Of Banning Incoming US Passenger Flights From Britain!
Easily Concealed In Granny's Drawers!

The astonishing decision by 'Big Sis' to put passengers lives at increased risk from elderly terrorists by relaxing security procedures for the over 75's at US airports has brought a warning from Britain's Prime Minister David Cameron, currently in America with wife Samantha to meet with President Obama, that as a result of the decision Britain will have no option but to ban all American passenger flights from landing in Britain.

Taking a few minutes yesterday to explain his concerns to press Mr Cameron described the measure as foolhardy, dangerous, and downright irresponsible, warning that unless the over 75's continue to be thoroughly groped by the highly trained TSA security agents to ensure they are not concealing things like guns or explosives in their drawers he would feel it necessary to ban all incoming flights from the US into Britain, "after Samantha and I get back there."

"Quite frankly I am flabbergasted at this decision to allow the over 75's onto flights without firstly ensuring they have been thoroughly groped," he said revealing, "I'd been informed by British Intelligence before leaving the UK to catch the flight here that they'd received reliable information to indicate the next atrocity would likely be carried out by elderly terrorists. I passed on that information to the President as soon as I spoke with him after arriving here yet the next thing I hear is that the over 75's will no longer be searched before boarding planes in this country."

If, as now seems likely, the British Prime Minister carries out his warning to ban all American passenger flights from Britain with anyone on board over the age of 75 it would seriously affect the travel plans of Americans intending to visit the UK this summer to watch the 2012 London Olympic Games.

"American visitors will just have to make other arrangements regarding travel," says Mr Cameron. "There's plenty of ships American people can travel by," he points out, "or alternatively they could perhaps take a flight to somewhere like Paris then make the rest of the journey by train. But I will not put the lives of British citizens at risk by having American flights passing over their heads with elderly passengers on board preparing to detonate bombs concealed in their drawers. Furthermore let me make it absolutely clear to every American citizen intending to travel to my country that irrespective of their age when they arrive in the UK on a ship, train, or ferry they can expect to be thoroughly groped by our own security people - especially those Americans over the age of 75."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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