Written by Bureau
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Friday, 16 March 2012

image for Bin Laden Not Dead! Navy SEAL Admits: We Killed Cat Stevens
"You're only dancing on this earth for a short while!"

The bulletin that came through just a few minutes ago has set the whole world on edge. Well, maybe not the WHOLE world. It's A Wild World, so you can expect the unexpected.

Apparently a Navy SEAL who was a backup for the team that supposedly killed Osama Bin Laden has told a fake CIA agent (a reporter for PBS) that the SEALS actually shot and killed Cat Stevens.

To make the story more believable, no one has seen Cat Stevens since the Bin Laden shooting and burial at sea was reported.

The SEAL told the fake CIA agent while they were having some drinks that the reason no one had actually filmed the burial at close range was because they weren't even sure that it was Bin Laden.

"Sure enough", stated the SEAL, "one of those present told me that Stevens had tried to explain who he was and had actually reached for his guitar (not a weapon) and began singing "Peace Train" when the SEALS opened up."

"Peace Train?"

"Yeah. You know...'I've been smiling lately, thinking about the good things to come'.."

So what happened to the DNA evidence taken from relatives of Bin Laden?

The Seal stated that it was rigged or that they somehow included some of Cat Stevens DNA from HIS relatives.

"If they ever find Cat Stevens and make him sing, that should do the trick. However, he has been going by the name of Yusuf Islam, but rumor is that he changed it back to Steven Demetre Georgiou last year. Actually that was his original name."

"Osama Bin Laden real name was Steven Demetre Georgiou?"

"No! Cat Stevens! Yusuf Islam!"

"So it's another Saturday night and they ain't got nobody?"

"Exactly!"

Make Bureau's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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