The three remaining candidates for the GOP nomination for president were reported to be caught in a three-way on election night this past Tuesday. As the news exploded over the internet, the mainstream media avoided reporting the story, Christian conservatives expressed outrage and eleven southern state Attorney generals prepared charges against the three candidates. The three presidential hopefuls were quick to deny the rumors. The Associated Press reports Rush Limbaugh took to the air, demanding pictures of the event.
Gingrich was he first to issue a statement denying the rumor. Gingrich; "I was never engaged in a 3-way, now or ever in the past. On election night, I was on the bottom of the heap the entire time. Sad to say, Romney and Santorum kept switching their positions, and well, doesn't that tell you something? I don't have an identity crisis, like you know who! Can you trust a man, who is always switching positions?"
Santorum issued the following statement: "I was on top the entire time! Romney didn't know where he was and well Gingrich, what can I say? He never shuts his mouth and that can be a good thing, I suppose. He has never been," he paused, "just a little behind!"
When Mitt Romney was approached at a campaign rally and asked by a journalist for a comment, he looked confused and replied, "A three- way? Is that like a Trifecta? I have a friend that owns Saratoga Race Track!"