Written by P.M. Wortham
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Wednesday, 14 March 2012

image for Mitt Romney's Travel Menu Confirms a Bland Candidate
More vanilla pudding please

Accidentally falling into the hands of reporters yesterday, Mitt Romney's campaign bus travel menu may indicate more about the candidate than he would prefer.

Like other candidates on the campaign trail, Romney travels with his own cooking staff as a means to regulate diet and ensure food safety and quality during months of rigorous travel. "It's a way to keep the candidate healthy during continuous 18 hour days", says former Bill Clinton campaign chef, Claudio Peppers. "You can't chow cheeseburgers every day, as much as that idea excites a guy like Bill".

Romney's menu however, shows a side of the man seldom seen. "I'm not trying to say the man is as bland as unsalted grits, but damn", commented Peppers after reviewing the menu. Though the menu rotates each day, the same starches, proteins and desserts keep popping up with regularity. Recurring items include: boiled chicken, poached cod, white rice, baked-unbuttered potato, navy beans, grilled unseasoned zucchini, plain pasta, white toast, scrambled eggs, and for dessert, vanilla pudding or ice cream.

"Once in an Italian neighborhood, I heard that Mitt was asked to try some 3 flavored Neopolitan ice cream, but he thought it was far too liberal", commented Peppers. "If you ask me, flavor is what the man needs."

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