Written by Kevin Nelson
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Monday, 12 March 2012

image for Ron Paul Clinches Tweaker and Junkie Vote, Stoner Vote Split

Recent polls show that Ron Paul out polls all other candidates in popularity among methamphetamine and heroin users. Ron Paul's popularity stems from his drug legalization platform. However his popularity is split with President Obama among marijuana users. In the states where medical marijuana is not criminalized President Obama leads 3 to 1 whereas in the states that don't recognize medical marijuana are slightly in Ron Paul's Favor.

Many former supporters of Pizza Mogul Herman Cain have switched allegiances to the Ron Paul Camp though now they don't expect a pizza on every table and an unlimited soft drink re-fills for life.

The Obama campaign has no plans to campaign on any drug legalization platforms or pandering to the pro-drug vote.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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