Written by waterman
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Topics: Society

Sunday, 11 March 2012

According to a recent USA Today poll, nearly 99% of all Americans suffer daily from the ill effects of BO and gas. This is a much higher rate than the peoples of most other countries, though gas seems to be quite a universal problem. Oddly, in some middle-eastern lands where gas is abundant, BO is actually acclaimed.

Some hesitate to draw a connection between BO and gas. However, most US residents now believe there is some kind of insidious association, with BO helping to induce, or at least exacerbate the gas problem.

The root causes of BO are varied, and its origin has been found to be extremely difficult to confirm. In fact, there has been considerable controversy about this over the past year or so. Most seem to agree that it derives from life of another time and place, most likely in a sweltering region of Africa. There seems to be some very good evidence to support that position. Others claim that it has a much more cosmopolitan antecedence, beginning right here in the US. The jury is still literally out on whether the evidence to support that assertion is genuine.

To many, the question is not so much from where or whence BO originated, as it is, what steps can be taken to rid one's system of it. It is widely believed that deliverance from BO will also result in the purging of gas. A good dose of strong tea is said to be an effective remedy, but there seems to be a recent shortage of that commodity. This poses a question. Would the more widely available, but also more dilute forms of that potion be as effective of a sanitizing agent? A common fear among tea drinkers is that these highly promoted elixirs are likely to only temper the lingering disagreeable effects.

The conventional wisdom is that BO can indeed be conquered, but experts who follow this issue closely say it will take until year's end, and possibly much longer, before we know for sure. In fact, many fear that our nation is so contaminated by BO, that even our great grandchildren will in some way pay a price for its aftermath. Some people actually pine for more government regulation to control the gas problem. However, every piece of evidence shows that this kind of action would only serve to encourage BO, which in turn, would have the undesired contrary effect of aggravating gas complications.

So you probably are asking, "What can I do to control BO?" Here are a few suggestions:

First, follow the news closely for research on BO. Listen carefully to the pros and cons of the purported cures. Do not be out-Foxed. Listen to and read all kinds of information sources, and beware of select elitists who claim a peer-group consensus that BO is not even an issue. Remember that consensus is not objective, and it certainly is not science.

Second, pay close attention to how BO affects you personally, as well as your friends and loved ones. They may feel uneasy when you speak about it, but don't hesitate to tell others about your own observations and conclusions.

Finally, when you decide which BO antidote is least likely to leave behind bad effects, apply it as liberally as the law allows. Encourage your friends and co-workers to do the same.

The more we can do as a society to control BO and rid our system of its effects, the more pleasant our world will be.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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