Written by jd Balderdash
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Topics: Congress, Memory

Tuesday, 14 March 2006

image for Congress Declares President Bush a "Non-Entity"
Bush moments before "phasing out"

President Bush "phased out of existence" last Thursday after both houses of Congress voted to "phase President Bush out of existence". Now little more than a wisp of a memory of a distant recollection, Bush, for all practical purposes is officially a non-entity .. a shadow person .. a transparent blip on the radar screen we call life.

"It started out as a joke" says Senator Wayne Allard of Colorado. During one of Bush's weekly "It's Hard Work, Hard Work" speeches Allard, two notches north of being a tad bit bored told a fellow Senator,

"What say we pretend that guy doesn't exist".

One thing led to another and before even CNN knew it President Bush ceased to exist in this or any other known dimension. The president has left the stadium.

Sources say that even the president's dog Barney would rather waddle in a hot tub of Scrubbing Bubbles than play with his master, George W Bush. Most leaders of foreign nations have also followed Congress's lead and now think that Dick Cheney rules America. Karl Rove now with "not much heavy lifting to do" has focused his attention on making Dick Cheney appear to NOT be a non-entity.

"The public's recollection of that shooting/peppering incident will soon pass" Rove said adding

"Just as soon as Mr Cheney pulls another even bigger over media-hyped fool-hearty stunt".

Call it mass hypnosis, the power of suggestion but some esoteric Art-bellian phenomena has indeed occurred rendering President Bush invisible to the naked eye. White House maids routinely mop the president's shoes without first asking him to move from the area they are mopping in.

Even the media can't see Mr Bush. FOX New's Brit Hume attempted to interview the president ..

HUME -> Uh, Mrs Bush? You can have the president come in now.

LAURA -> George IS in Brit. He's sitting right in front of you.

HUME -> Oh, he is? I'm sorry .. so .. Mr President. What do you make of this whole ..

LAURA -> Mr Hume? You're talking to the lamp.

HUME -> Oops. Sorry again Mrs Bush. Can you tell the president for me that I said hello?

LAURA -> Sure. George? Mr Hume says hello.

LAURA -> George?

LAURA -> I'm sorry Mr Hume but now I can't see him either.

Congress, pleased with their seemingly astonishing powers and success in vaporizing President Bush are, according to unconfirmed sources contemplating declaring Dick Cheney, Condoleezza Rice, Donald Rumsfeld and Karl Rove non-entities as well.

"The vote will be close in the House" Senator Trent Lott said going on to add,

"We're confident that we'll soon be rid of the entire Bush Administration. Microsoft too if they don't straighten up and fly right."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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