Written by Bureau
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Sunday, 4 March 2012

image for Rush Limbaugh Begs Student For Forgiveness!
Limbaugh Spends 15 Hours A Week Talking To Millions

Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh apologized Saturday and again three different times on Sunday to a Georgetown University law student he had branded a "slut" and "prostitute" and "bigot" after fellow Republicans as well as Democrats criticized him and several advertisers left his program, at least temporarily.

"I am very sorry that I offended the young pros..lady. All I meant was that she was a "Pro" like in sports and I misspoke. Also, I think that "slut" in Eskimo means a lot of melting snow or some such crappola."

"Now, will you sponsors come back?"

Sandra Fluke, the slu...student in question, had testified to congressional Democrats.

"She stated that she wanted people to know that she and others like her think that the school should pay for their contraceptives", stated one congressman who didn't want his name linked to Limbaugh OR the young lady, as he has had problems with young lady's statements in the past.

Limbaugh has just apologized again...his 5th Network appearance today.

"My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national slut.....stir," Limbaugh said on his website. "I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices."

Attempts to reach the....Fluke by telephone and e-mail were unsuccessful.

Meanwhile, Limbaugh promises to apologize once again tomorrow on his program once every three hours as that is the length of his show. After that, he will appear on at least 12 more cable stations to apologize.

Limbaugh closed with, "You sponsors come back here. I'll have the biggest audience yet with all this free advertising."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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