Written by Felix Minderbinder
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Thursday, 9 March 2006

image for Republicans in Congress Deny Any Knowledge of George Bush
One of many Bush photos discarded by Republicans in Congress

WASHINGTON (AP)-Republican members of the Senate and the House of Representatives in Congress are denying that they have any knowledge of President George Bush, or that they ever knew the man.

"George Bush? Who's he?" Bill Frist, the Republican Senate Majority Leader and potential Presidential candidate told a reporter on Wednesday, adding, "Never heard of him."

Vice President Dick Cheney even went so far as to deny that there are any members of the Bush family in Washington, DC on Meet the Press. "No one with poll numbers as low as that even exists," he told a reporter on prime time TV.

All House and Senate Republicans have even signed a petition saying that no one named Bush has even been born, and that they believe the White House to be empty and up for sale.

Yet Congressional Republicans had given President Bush a completely free rein to start illegal wars, set up torture camps, spy on American citizens without warrants and generally trample the US Constitution over that last six years. But now, with Congressional elections looming this fall, self-preservation has kicked in and has become paramount.

Republicans in Congress are suddenly rebelling even over the issues of national security. House Republicans are actively teaming up with Democrats to hinder the politically unpopular takeover by a Dubai company of port terminal operations in large American cities.

Republicans in the Senate are also backtracking on giving the White House more authority over its illegal spying, even helping out Democratic calls for an investigation of the program.

Only one Republican was prepared to admit that Bush might even exist.

"If there was ever a good time for Congress to do some oversight on such a person as that unpopular character who may or may not exist in the White House, it would be in the sixth year of his presidency, if he really existed," said Rep. Roy Blunt of Missouri, the No. 3 House Republican.

This newfound display of Republican political survival is a sign of growing nervousness and fears that they are losing their edge as the elections approach, and that they will be wiped out by an irate and fed-up public that is losing its living standards and going deeper into debt under the Bush regime.

Republican Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert added, "We will continue to use our best judgment on how to protect the American people from Bush, I mean that creature in the Oval Office, whoever or whatever it may be," he told reporters.

Congressional Republicans are also busy dumping all of the Bush memorabilia from their offices, including letters and photos, but sanitation workers refuse to pick it up from the sidewalk, and visiting American and foreign citizens are also ignoring it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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