Rush Limbaugh opened his program yesterday afternoon with a statement that further shocked most Americans, cost him seven more advertisers, and sent the entire
Board of Directors of NOW into an alcohol and drug induced coma.
Limbaugh: "Three was an old joke among college wrestlers that went--- she's only a wrestler's daughter, but you ought to see her box!"
"Well," Limbaugh continued, "if Liberals want to open up Pandora's Box and want you to pay for it, and believe me friends that is what they want, then they should let us all see Pandora's Box and anyone else's that wants to get paid to have sex with free contraception.
As Limbaugh tugged frantically at his shirt, brushed back his thinning hair and alternately spoke in whispers and yells, his aides looked on in stunned disbelief as he shouted over and over again, "I want to see pictures! I want to see pictures, I want to see pictures!"
Technicians and cameramen quickly shut down the broadcast, by-standers report seeing aides taking a disheveled Limbaugh from his chair while pulling up his pants and screaming, "Whore! Tramp! Pig! Slut! I want to see pictures! I want to see pictures! I want to see pictures!"
Onlookers report that as the studio erupted into bedlam, Limbaugh's manager took Limbaugh's free hand and led him from the scene. A mother with a small child was seen shielding her child's eyes while softly saying the Rosary.
In related news, Mr. Limbaugh is reported to be in seclusion at an unknown location in the state of Nevada.