Written by Bernie F. Carlin
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Topics: America, School

Wednesday, 8 March 2006

image for Jon Stewart's "America" Not Real Civics Textbook.
"America (The Book)" looks like a real textbook, but isn't.

A high school civics teacher from upstate New York has announced that he will no longer be using Jon Stewart's "America (The Book)" as a primary textbook for students.

Mr. Lewis Greeley, of West Genoa High School, located in a suburb of Syracuse, NY, has been using the comedic "textbook" as a primary source for readings and lessons since the beginning of the school year. He taught the entire first semester's class on this humorous book, which is presented by "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart", and was well underway with the second semester's class when a concerned parent asked to see a student's textbook.

"I wondered how ‘Johnny' could be so interested in civics yet still be so confused about it" said the parent, who has asked to be called "Thomas Ryan". "He was going on about some Supreme Court cases called ‘Roe v. Brown' and ‘Godzilla v. Megalon', and kept insisting that it was in his civics book. I demanded to see the book, and what did he hand me? Some joke-filled funny book! I was not pleased."

Ryan brought this matter to attention at the next PTA meeting, and most of the school administration was surprised and confused.

"Well, we always try to stand by our teachers when there is trouble", said Principal Finchley, "but here I think we must concede that a mistake has been made". The school administration will consider what action to take against Mr. Greeley in a meeting next Sunday, but as Mr. Greeley has removed the book from his syllabus and issued an apology, no severe penalties will likely be imposed.

Some parents have been openly wondering about Mr. Greeley's competence and intelligence, but many at the school are willing to vouch for him. "Mr. Greeley? Oh, he's a wonderful teacher!" said the local teacher's union head, Mrs. Robin Culpepper, who plans to defend Mr. Greeley's position firmly.

Many are asking just how Mr. Greeley came to use the book in the first place. "I discovered it over the summer," Greeley said, "when I ran into a student who I knew hated social studies. I saw that he had a textbook with him, and when I learned that he had bought it with his own money, I knew that any textbook that could make such a delinqu- uhh, less-than-enthusiastic student actually do reading over the summer just had to be in my classroom".

When asked why he didn't realize the book was a joke simply from looking at the cover, Greeley said "I just assumed the ‘democracy inaction' line had a typo in it".

The names "Jon Stewart" and "Daily Show" also boded well for the book, according to Greeley. "I have always loved ‘The Daily Show'" Greeley said. "It's my first source for news". It is not yet known whether or not Greeley realizes that "The Daily Show" is a comedic news parody, not a serious news program.

Mr. Greeley will be replacing "America (The Book)" with something more serious. "I hope the students still like my course" he said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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