The Reverend T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg, NC was apprehended yesterday in the village of Hartfield, the UK, for burning two hundred copies of A.A. Milne' s famous children's book, Winnie the Pooh! The action took place at A.A. Milne's gravesite amid an angry crowd of the author's fans from around the globe. McCorkle was escorted from the scene by local constables.
The Reverend McCorkle first came to public attention in 2011 when he claimed that he had discovered that the famous cartoon from the 1930's, Little Orphan Annie was, in fact, a front for the Communist Party.
"Annie was a prostitute and Daddy Warbucks was actually the father of Dominique Strauss Kahn," McCorkle stated. "Don't be fooled by the little girl's red dress and the cute curls. The Kahn/Annie relationship was not what it seemed, not something you would want our children to see or comprehend. If you thought 'Woof! Woof," said Sandy, was a cute touch, you will think differently when I tell you it was a call to arms for the World Order Of Feminist (WOOF). Not a pretty picture!"
McCorkle was rescued from the angry mob by local constables and taken into custody. After his release, undaunted, he appeared at the home of the late Beatrix Potter, author of the famed children's book, Peter Rabbit. Another angry crowd appeared as he ranted against her book. "To indoctrinate young children in the culture of rabbits is against God's law," he said. "We have people like the rabbits in our own country: fornicating,leaving fatherless families, and depended on the charity of others to exist. For Shame!"
McCorkle was rescued from the crowd once more, shouting, "Fornicators! Fornicators! Fornicators!
In related news, the BBC reports the Reverend McCorkle has been deported from the UK and banned from further travel to that country. The European Union is taking similar measures affording to the BBC. In other news, Fox News has announced plans to cover his arrival back in the US and the pork rind parade to be held in his honor in his home town of Louisburg, NC. The Franklin Times reports the local school board has passed a resolution in his honor and burned four hundred copies of Alice in Wonderland.