Written by Dr. Billingsgate
Print this

Friday, 24 February 2012

image for Newt Gingrich Demands That Obama's Head Be Hermetically Sealed And Frozen
Freeze Dried

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a last minute face saving development, Newt Gingrich demanded that President Obama's head be put into a hermetically sealed bubble so that flies wouldn't mistake it for an over ripe pumpkin during Presidential debates this fall.

To preclude further fermentation, just in case his birth certificate is never found, the cerebral Gingrich suggested that the bubble not only be hermetically sealed, he also asked that the temperature within the bubble be lowered to minus 20 degrees Fahrenheit so that Obama's brain might be preserved for future generations to question.

Smelling a rat (genera Rattus), Press Secretary Jay Carney countered with a proposal that would lower the temperature to minus 120 degrees in order to freeze dry the president's grey matter; this to preclude him flip-flopping his position on contraception again. The ever wily Carney noted that research by the Brookings Institute has shown that baseball legend Ted Williams has not changed his views on any position since his brain was frozen at that temperature a few years ago.

NOTE: As is it's policy, the BILLINGSGATE POST will stand behind this story with no caveats other than advising readers that providing journalism unabridged, uncensored and most importantly, without proof, is a thankless mission.

Make Dr. Billingsgate's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 4?

7 16 10 20
66 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more