Written by David Grant
Print this

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

image for It's Just Plane Crazy
JFK Yesterday Evening

Peanut Choking Horror - Who said airline snacks are safe? Not Mr. Fred Flatula, who stated, "I did not realize that one peanut could mean the difference between life and oblivion."

Turnaround Airlines say, "Our peanuts are as safe as anyone else's and have undergone rigorous safety tests." Mr. Flatula added, "Thank goodness for the turbulence that dislodged it through my nose." Although he failed to see any humor in it himself, he has allegedly granted Jerry Seinfeld permission to refer to the incident in his stand-up routine.

Top Ten airports for a Crash-land

An amazing survey just out purports to arrange in order the best airports for an emergency crash-land. This has caused outrage among aviation authorities. Believing that they are the experts, the Centre for Error Research of Stupid Pilots on Landing and Take-off, or C.E.R.S.P.L.A.T (for short) stated, "We have the most experience of crashing the world over and should have been consulted."

The organizers of the survey are unrepentant and claim, "We just want to be able to tell holiday makers where they can spend their holidays, and still have a better than fifty percent chance of escaping a burning wreckage alive."

Airbus Stop

As this journal went to press, an Airbus A380 was reported to be trapped in a holding pattern over JFK International Airport.

In his communication with ATC, the pilot claims that the autopilot will not allow him to resume control.

Airbus has admitted reluctantly that this sort of thing has happened before. They have advised the pilot to talk to the autopilot in a soothing French accent.

Make David Grant's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 3?

6 13 3 24
50 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more