Written by K.C. Bell
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Wednesday, 8 March 2006

image for Is President Bush Seeking Impeachment?
"We really want out. Big time."

The world media concluded that President George W. Bush is really seeking an early way out of the White House through impeachment. He never wanted a second term. Diebold voting machines in Ohio forced it on him, giving him four more years away from Crawford, Texas, unable to catch up on his ever growing library of NASCAR races.

The creeping downward spiral toward impeachment began with the Harriet Myers nomination. This appointment to the Supreme Court was the first yell for early retirement. Slug pace reaction to the Katrina disaster was the next. Selling the security of seven U.S. ports to Dubai should have been the final cry for impeachment.

"What's it gonna take, an intern?"

With all things up for sale, the President addtionally promised to trade nuclear components to India in exchange for mangoes. Promoting nuclear proliferation in exchange for solid gold is questionable, but for mangoes?

The trade surplus Clinton left has been exhausted on the Iraq war, and the national debt is also growing. While waiting for impeachment, Bush is holding a spectacular garage sale selling off the country's assets to help dent both deficits. Like cash in the attic: Las Vegas is going to be sold to Japan; health care coverage to the Republic of Togo; banking to Jamaica; education to Tierra del Fuego; Clint Eastwood to Russia. Why not? (lots of money in piroshki westerns)

By shooting a man in the face, Dick Cheney is also going for early retirement. Using his shotgun, Cheney mistook a six foot tall acquaintance for a quail. Quail are the size of a cantaloupe; without feathers a mango. Cheney's explanation: "Heard a noise in back of me." The noise appears to have penetrated the ear protectors hunters wear to dull the sound of gun fire. They serve mighty strong Dr. Pepper in Texas.

The Vice President has set up Halliburton so the company now controls the world. There is more power at his old job heading Halliburton than as Vice President. "D.C.? Who needs it?"

Though the quail accident may be old news, like Clara Harris running over her husband five times, Dick Cheney is reloading his shotgun. People use to ask, "Would you buy a used car from Dick Nixon?" People now ask, "Would you go hunting with Dick Cheney?"

President Bush and Vice President Cheney are poster boys for early retirement. Mrs. Cheney can write a new book titled BROTHERS to partner her SISTERS novel.

Keep the mangoes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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