Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Topics: Rick Santorum

Monday, 20 February 2012

The Associated Press is reporting this morning that Presidential candidate Rick Santorum opened his remarks to a large crowd of supporters yesterday by saying, "Boys rule!" The attendees were made up equally of men and women who looked to their husbands for approval and shouted, "Honor and Obey! Honor and obey!"

Santorum continued: "Girls are for teasing, boys are for pleasing!" The men shouted, stomped their feet and grabbed their crotches. The women looked at their mates adoringly and shouted, "Pleasing! Pleasing!"

Santorum: "And men, if that little lady of yours wants to think, use contraception, or work outside the home, put an aspirin between her ears!" The men did high fives, shouted, and slapped their wives on their behinds.

Santorum: "And remember this, if a woman says no, she means maybe and if she says maybe she means yes!" The men shouted, "Hoo Hah! Hoo Hah. The women shouted, "Yes! Yes!"

Santorum said in closing, "and remember this, men, let he who casts the first stone, aim well. There are others waiting in line behind you!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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