A leaked memo from the Republican National Committee (RNC) states that one of the major platforms at the 2012 convention will be to make bedroom peeping the national pastime.
"It is time to take our beliefs from word to deed," said a GOP spokesperson. "It is our preoccupation, our fascination, and your bedroom is the destination. Life begins at conception and even masturbation is no longer an exception. How many little lives are lost by the belief that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? Not on our watch!"
A reporter from the Associated Press asked, "How will you control this effort, you know, keep track of your efforts?"
RNC Spokesperson: "Yes, we have that base covered. We will be issuing Peep Passes to all of our members and through Evangelical Christian churches. Everyone will be issued a Peep Pass and night vision goggles.
"The program for Young Republicans includes Peep On Our Parents (POOP) passes and include instant cameras in order to bring pictures to "show and tell" at school. It is a game the entire family can play.
"A side benefit will be to drive the porn industry out of business and most likely will drive a goodly number of our members to give up sex entirely (except for procreation) or at least never enjoy it again. No more "covet thy neighbor's wife!" She is as close as your sneakers will take you!"