BILLINGSGATE POST - Arguments over the proclamation by President Obama that mandates church affiliated employers provide birth control benefits to their employees reached a high fever pitch in the House of Representatives yesterday as lesbians and gays demanded to know why they shouldn't be given the same benefits as heterosexuals for their own recreational sex.
Although Obama backed off somewhat when he announced that he would flip the responsibilty of providing coverage from the employer to the insurance company, this did nothing to placate lesbians and gays who felt miffed because their recreational sex practices were included in the carve-out, because, as Obama diplomatically pointed out:
"Muff-diving and buggery would not ordinarily result in conception unless divine intercession took place."
"Fat chance," echoed Catholic Church historian, Rev. Thigbee Barnicle, who went on to explain that there is no bonafide record of this happening. Citing Vatican records that go back for centuries, Rev. Thigbee added:
"To put this in perspective, the chance of divine intercession in such cases is in direct proportion to ever finding President Obama's original birth certificate."
NOTE: The information for this story was provided by Media Doesn't Matter Any More.