Written by mikewadestr
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Wednesday, 15 February 2012

image for "You Have a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts" Makes University's Book of Acceptable Words and Phrases for the Queen
I have a lovely bunch of coconuts!

After years of publishing its ever growing annual book: List of Words Banished from the Queen's English for Misuse, Michigan's Lake Superior State University has decided to put out a much smaller book titled: List of Words that the Queen would really like to Hear. Apparently, it was way easier and cheaper to publish the acceptable stuff than the banished stuff. As of press time, Lake Superior State University has announced that the new book will consist entirely of three pages.

For years the small Michigan University has set the standard of political correctness by continually adding words and phrases the Queen of England would not approve of when spoken outside of her bedroom. Unfortunately, the Queen's exploits in the bedroom have changed dramatically to the chagrin of the English language.

The original List of Words Banished from the Queen's English for Misuse was updated every year since its inception in 1976 by taking nominations from people in the US, UK and Israel.

Yes Israel!

I guess you can say that the Queen really likes a mean bagel and lox, just maybe not in her box.

To give an idea of how the Queen has progressed in her sexual vocabulary, the list of banished words this year included: Man Cave, Occupy, ginormous and the New Normal.

When addressing the Queen you definitely do not want to say: "That is a lovely pearl necklace your highness". Definitely don't tell her that, when she is wearing a pearl necklace on her ginormous hinny because if you do, you won't be getting any winy.

Apparently, the internet has managed to sexually corrupt the Queen just as it has everyone else.

The Queen has made it known that it really gets her juices flowing when you do tell her: "You have a lovely bunch of coconuts".

Coconuts are good, but chestnuts on the other hand, not so much.

The continuing growth of the old book List of Words Banished from the Queen's English for Misuse was created to make social interaction of all students much simpler and more politically correct and to dumb them down to the intellect of the Queen, which, every American, UK and Israeli women dream of eventually being.

Unfortunately, the enormous size of the book has created major problems in achieving its goal, which is why the Michigan University scrapped the old book for the much shorter List of Words that the Queen would really like to Hear which is way easier to read.

"This is like so totally awesome!" Exclaimed Whatsamatta U student Sally Slug. "It took me just a month to read the re-written, politically correct version of War and Peace. It's only 15 pages now".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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