BILLINGSGATE POST - President Barack Obama announced today his plan to balance the budget on the backs of American housewives. Citing a study by Harvard economists who evaluated what a "full-time-stay-at-home" mother should make if she were paid for her labors, it is estimated that she would earn approximately $134,120 per year. This amount was calculated by evaluating the earning power of the ten jobs comprising a mother's role, including cooking, janitoring, van driving, providing psychological help to husband and children and performing various sex acts on her husband.
Interestingly, this might prove to be counter-intuitive. By default, it places the husband in the patriarchal position again; the role that was lost when our boys came back from World War II and found their wives wearing hard hats, smoking cigars and driving bulldozers. The formerly hapless husband, in effect, would become the CEO of the family because he would be responsible for paying his wife's imputed salary. His wife would merely be his most senior employee. Since the husband would be required to pay his wife for her services, she would have to pay taxes on the amount, whether received or not.
The genius of this is that it automatically gives full employment to millions of people who are currently listed as "unemployed." And by forcing taxes to be paid on their imputed income of $134,120, it will increase tax revenues by approximately $1,000,640,100,000 a year, as determined by the non-partisan Congressional Budget Committee.
In a nutshell, President Obama has once again out-foxed the Republicans with this masterfull, two pronged pincer attack which will virtually assure him of being re-elected this November.
NOTE: Truth, in the abstract, is not just another word. And that alone justifies this post.