Written by Exislanda
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 10 February 2012

image for Sanatorium "Return to Family Values"
Women can't drive tanks! Nor can they wave that barrel at the enemy!

Risk Sanatorium, trying to be the strong conservative in the GOP Primary sweepstakes, picked up on the announcement from the Pentagon that more women in US armed forces will be serving in the front line.

"Oh no!" he exclaimed, "This is not the women's role. They should be at home servicing the true American family values. They should be organising tea parties, cooking, washing and ironing and bringing up lots of Republican kids to ensure that the Right of America remains in the majority."

"Just consider the possibility of a women with PMT at the front. Other types of emotions are involved. That could put our brave servicemen in extremely dangerous situations. We have enough black and Latino men to waste, we don't need women out there when they can be at home to answer the needs of their husbands whenever they need it."

"And they are physically incapable of waving a phallus at the enemy!"

"Rightwing Catholics, this is another ploy by this administration to undermine your beliefs, for contraceptives are freely issued in the armed forces and women at the front are in great demand."

"This is WRONG! This is not what the Pilgrim Fathers who founded this wonderful country escaped England for. If women do not agree, then they must be witches and we should deal with them accordingly."

"This, this ...... {I've lost my train of thought, am I rambling again}"

"This is wrong! and you wont see Mitm or Gingnotsorich or Old Ron Paul coming out against this, so I have to. I have to capture all your redneck votes."

WOOPS & CHEERS from supporters, crushed tightly round his podium to give the impression that thousands of people are attending his speech.

Make Exislanda's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 1?

4 22 2 3
65 readers are online right now!

Go to top