Mitt Romney,on the heels of three shocking losses to Rick Santorum in Colorado, Minnesota and Missouri (pronounced misery), has sworn to become more in touch with "the little people".
"I know that it is difficult for all people to identify with me, but that does not mean I cannot identify with them. That is why this coming weekend, for a full two hours, I will go homeless with no food, water, shelter, or money. I have instructed my staff and family not to try to help me in any way."
Romney will be doing his homeless stint in Beverly Hills, CA, where he is scheduled to do a campaign stop and fundraising banquet at 10,000 per plate.
Said a local homeless person, "Two hours?! He can't even get hungry in two hours!!"