Written by Lyndon
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Wednesday, 8 February 2012

image for Johnny can't read: mistakes morning-after pill in college vending machine for Sweet Tarts
Shippensburg students can take one in the morning, that is, if they haven't chewed their arm off at the elbow

Shippensburg, Pa. - Little Johnny Waters, the 11-year-old brother of Suzanne Waters of Somerset, PA, got a little more bang for the buck than he'd anticipated.

Sitting around bored while visiting his sister, a sophomore at Shippensburg University, Johnny asked his parents for some cash so that he could raid a vending machine in his sister's dorm.

Thinking he'd bought himself a role of Sweet Tarts, Little Johnny came back to his sister's room munching on a morning-after pill and sipping Mountain Dew.

No one noticed the mistake until Little Johnny finally got a word in edge-wise. Said father Burton Waters: "Johnny wanted to know why there was only one Sweet Tart in the box and why it cost him $25."

The family rushed Little Johnny to the campus health center where it was determined that the only thing wrong with him was that he couldn't read.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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