Nevada: Mitt-in-the-mouth Romney blames the differing policies of his numerous Superpacks for confusing him, and that is why his public gaffs are being debated in all the media. There are billions of dollars being spent by groups of his friends to shape and influence the GOP frontrunner's stand on rich American issues and values. The only thing that they all have in common is that the poor will undoubtedly suffer, while the rich get richer.
MITM's latest gaff was to criticise Presidente Obama's statement that the USA's troops will be withdrawn from Afghanistan a year early than had previously been anticipated. It is understood that Superpack AATFTW (American Armaments to Fuck the World) woke him at 2.30 this morning and bent his ear for over 45 minutes. Mothers of servicemen serving in Asia were outraged.
"We don't want more of our sons and daughters coming home in body bags!" said Yuliesi Gomez, who has 26 children serving in the US armed forces overseas. "On the other hand, if they come home now, they will all be deported."
"Yesterday he said I can depend on my safety net and he will fix the holes in it. The other day he was going to send my grandmother back to Mexico. What will become of us? El hombre es un perro!
Meanwhile, inside sourses say that MITM is about to play a Trump card - stand by for updates.