Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Topics: Barack Obama

Monday, 30 January 2012

image for Did Obama Attend Columbia? Has He The Power To Cloud Men's Mind So That They Cannot See Him? The Shadow Knows
The Shadow

BILLINGSGATE POST - Very very strange. No one has ever came forward from Obama's past saying they knew him, attended school with him, dated him or was his friend. Why doesn't anyone in Obama's college class remember him?

Looking for evidence of Obama's past, FOX NEWS contacted 400 Columbia University students from the same period when Obama claims to have been there. Not one of them remember him.

It is very strange. Barry's photograph does not appear in Columbia's yearbook and Obama refuses requests to talk about his undergraduate years at Columbia or provide school records or transcripts of his grades.

None other than the redoubtable Dr. Viscount Billingsgate has endeavored to sweep away the cobwebs that form a cloud over the very existence of Barack Hussein Obama. Drawing on years of experience as a forensic scatologist, Billingsgate even went back to investigate the restrooms of Columbia, hoping to find poop stains left on the toilet seats by union janitors going back to 1983, when Obama may have used them.

Finding nothing to indicate that Obama ever set foot on the Columbia campus, and not one to delve into sinister sub-plots, Billingsgate's best guess is that Obama possesses abilities similar to those of The Shadow; "the power to cloud men's mind so that they cannot see him."

Is President Obama a latter-day Manchurian candidate? "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!"

Will Obama get away with this? "The weed of crime bears bitter fruit. Crime does not pay...The Shadow knows."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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