Written by P.M. Wortham
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Monday, 30 January 2012

image for Palin Stumps for Gingrich, Newt's End is Near

Poking her uninvited nose into one more media hype cycle, Sarah Palin has announced her staunch support of fellow conservative, Newt Gingrich, just in time for the Florida primary.

With a political win-loss record of 0-2, Palin somehow felt that her support would help push Gingrich over the top in a close primary race in Florida. There were unconfirmed reports from the Romney camp, that they were thrilled to hear Palin's announcement. One Romney staffer who preferred to remain nameless commented, "All Gingrich needs is an endorsement from Ron Paul and Michelle Bachmann and this thing is over".

Political analyst, Melvin Middlerode believes that the country is much more moderate that anything else. "The candidates who are most intolerant, inflexible, with a misdirected view of mainstream American values, have the biggest mouths", says Middlerode. "Palin, Perry, Bachman, Paul, its like listening to a panel of pontificating prima donnas who all believe they're right".

Middlerode believes that the ultra conservative candidate whoever they are, will always carry the vote of the hard core religious fanatics, survivalists, the NRA, and perhaps those folks in the south who like to build fences and arrest people who don't look like their last name could be "Smith". "But those people don't make up the majority of the country, thank God, they just make enough noise to sound like they're the majority", says Middlerode.

Palin's campaign bus rolled into Florida this morning where the first stop was a Tampa television station. Palin's prepared and folksy interview included references to Gingrich as "A dedicated family man, a well respected legislator, someone who's never taken a dime as a lobbyist, and a man who's young and energetic". Elsewhere, insiders to the Gingrich camp report hearing Newt reply, "Is she talking about me?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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