Written by Adam Click
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Topics: Monkey, Extinct

Sunday, 29 January 2012

image for The Miller's Grizzled Languor Monkey Found Alive!
Albert, The Miller's grizzled Langour Monkey loved to ride on the rear view mirror of the family's automobile.

Itsuptou,New York-Mr.and Mrs. Steven Miller's Languor Monkey, Albert, who disappeared several years ago, was found alive and unhurt in the Wehea forest, on the eastern tip of Borneo island. Appearing disheveled and somewhat grizzled, Albert leapt into the arms of his waiting family in front of a nation-wide audience on a television broadcast shown live around the world.

How the large, grey monkey ended up in a remote jungle, thousands of miles away from it's Trenton, New Jersey home is a mystery. That it was found alive and well after so many years is nothing short of miraculous.

Albert was last seen in the spring of 1995. His disappearance was the subject of much speculation. A video surveillance tape showed Albert in the company of a mysterious man in a yellow hat. Although it had been determined that that was just a coincidence, the man in the yellow hat was latter charged with the kidnapping of another monkey, named George.

The Millers, meanwhile, endured their own hardships, not only coping with the loss of their beloved Albert but also with a police investigation revolving around Mr. Miller's supposed involvement in Albert's disappearance. That lead to the Miller's much publicized separation and divorce, which only added fuel to the conspiracy theories which ran rampant on the internet and in the tabloids.

Eventually the controversy ran it's course and the couple were able to reunite. Except for the occasional TV appearance they remained in seclusion and were rarely seen in public.

"We're ecstatic!" proclaimed the Millers, as they exited the television studio where the family was reunited, before being hustled into the back of a limousine and speeding away."We've got our Albert back!"

Experts agree that such reunions are regrettably few and far between, but that every time it happens, it gives new hope to others whose monkeys have disappeared under mysterious circumstances.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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