Written by Lyndon
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Saturday, 28 January 2012

image for Santorum opposes abortion even in cases of alien abduction
Santorum would make his daughter keep this alien baby but he's not too sure about letting it sit on his lap

HARRISBURG, PA - GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum further dug a hole for himself this week after telling reporters that he opposes terminating a pregnancy even if an alien impregnated a woman.

Asked what he would say if his own daughter approached him with a story of alien abduction, copulation, and impregnation, Santorum didn't waver from his position.

"I would tell her that we still love you and that you'd have to make the best of a bad situation. She would have to simply accept this horribly created baby."

Asked if Santorum would assume the stereotypical role of grandfather and teach his little alien grandbaby, through all his life stories, the virtues of hard work, patience, loyalty, perseverance, and sacrifice, Santorum was less committal.

"Well, I don't know if such a being would be interested in lap time with Grandpa, but it would certainly know how I feel about the evils of same-sex marriage and that intelligent design played a role in its evolution."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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