Written by Ellie James
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Saturday, 28 January 2012

image for Woman Becomes First to Marry a Corporation
Potter will receive a lifetime supply of Apple hoodies as part of the pre-nuptial agreement.

Local woman, Elizabeth Potter, will be the first person to actually marry a corporation. The Supreme Court ruled that corporations have the same rights and responsibilities as a person.

Potter states that her marriage to Apple, Inc will help ensure she keeps her health care benefits for her and her children as well as give her time to be a stay at home mother.

She admits that she was involved in a love triangle between two other corporations, but Apple finally won her heart as well as her head.

We weren't able to talk to the groom to be, but Potter is excited about the upcoming nuptials even though she's unsure how the honeymoon will work.

"I figured that since corporations are people now then I should just marry one that's highly successful. Plus, I'm rather artsy. It's why I didn't go for Microsoft and his business like mannerisms. Apple was just so much more romantic and artsy."

Potter's friends are skeptical but supportive. They state that she's become rather cynical and have given up on men and all they have to offer.

Potter's best friend, Lisa Franklin said, "Maybe she's on to something. If it works out, I might divorce my husband and marry British Petroleum because that cruise line is out of the question now."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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