Written by Jack Getze
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Wednesday, 25 January 2012

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Ms. Xynenia's Spaceship

Narjeen Xynenia landed her eight-ton spaceship at the corner of Hollywood and Vine Tuesday, destroying two hot dog stands, interrupting a "Free Lindsay" demonstration, and forcing officers of the Los Angeles Police Department to close off six blocks of the city.

"I want to be in the movies," Ms. Xynenia shouted to reporters from the back of a police car. "I sing good, too."

The bright orange woman, a former beauty queen from the Orion system, managed to pass out information sheets and pictures through the police car window. Among other details, Ms. Xynenia's handout said she was encouraged to try her luck in Hollywood by her mother, a former stage actress.

"We're used to pretty girls coming here wanting to be movie stars," said Detective Rick Sparling of the L.A.P.D.'s Hollywood Division. "But this is the first one who ever arrived FROM the stars."

Ms. Xynenia was charged with criminal mayhem, illegal parking, and failing to register her vehicle.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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