Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 20 January 2012

image for Rick Perry Reveals The Real Reason Why He Dropped Out Of The GOP Presidential Race
Lightning striking the barn on Rick Perry's Texas cattle ranch. Luckily he has a damn good lightning rod.

AUSTIN - Governor Rick Perry, following close on the heels of Jon Huntsman has announced that he is dropping out of the Republican Presidential Race.

Perry spoke from the backyard deck of his Texas mansion with political reporter Mistletoe Bulova of The Political Drive-Thru Window Magazine.

He told her that many political pundits are saying that he quit because he had a hard time with the debates and could not seem to find the right verb or conjunction and at times his prepositions were actually dangling.

Others noted that Perry was just to much of a fan of using the electric chair to deal with criminals who he said needed to be dealt with.

Perry stated that he was merely sending a clear message to others who may be thinking of doing the same criminal acts that the criminals who got an appointment to sit on "Old Sparky" had done.

The governor was asked if he would like to comment further on what he had said about the time just not being right, and the stars not quite being aligned with the Milky Way, and the volcano in Bolivia rumbling and making sounds which had convinced him to get out of the race.

The governor leaned in towards Miss Bulova so that the workers who were making some major modifications to his Olympic-sized swimming pool would not hear.

"Missy" he remarked, "I like you. You are a young up and coming reporter and you have always treated me fairly, not like those piranha-like supermarket tabloid reporters who work for Just Saying and Say What?"

He paused to take a sip of his Crystal Light Tea and a bite of his bacon and egg taco. He then continued telling her that he was going to give her the scoop on the real reason why he decided to hang up his spurs as they say in the Lone Star State.

Perry told her that to be perfectly honest, he just got plum tired of so many reporters and news people constantly making fun of his debate mistake when he could not think of the third governmental program and he remarked after giving the first two that he could not think of the third one.

Governor Perry grinned, cracked his knuckles, petted his hound dog, Buford Jr. and said that he did not mind them making fun of him but that after about the 700th time it did start to get somewhat old, kinda like Cloris Leachman or Betty White.

Miss Bulova giggled and said that she knew exactly what he meant and using a Texas colloquialism remarked, that she most definitely knew which side of the cornbread the butter went on.

Perry stood up, hugged her, and quipped, "Bulova, I know you're a New York City girl, but deep down inside you're a good-looking little old Texas cowgirl at heart hon."

She graciously thanked him, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and wished him well with his upcoming cattle branding fandango and chili cook-off picnic scheduled for Saturday, January 28.

In a non-related story. Miley Cyrus has stated that the reason for her recent weight gain is due to her quasi-addiction to Powdered Donut and French Fry Sandwiches.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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