Written by Lyndon
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Thursday, 19 January 2012

image for Romney's assets managed on "blind basis," candidate plans to manage U.S. economy in same fashion
Yeah, looks like a great place to invest my money

CHARLESTON, Sc. - Sandra Andres, a spokeswoman for Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, wrote in an email to reporters that the Romneys' assets, which are estimated at $200 million, are managed on "a blind basis."

To define this term, she added, "They do not control the investment of these assets."

Asked who in his right mind would allow such an amount of money to be managed blindly, Ms. Andres replied, "Mr. Romney is so busy that he just not have the time to manage such an enormous amount of money."

This came as a response to questions surrounding the amount of money the Romneys have invested in the Cayman Islands, an investment mecca used by many wealthy individuals because of the tax-free status they enjoy there.

This led most pundits on both sides to wonder how someone who can't manage $200 million could possibly tackle the U.S. budget which reached $3.7 trillion in 2012.

Harfold State College instructor of G.E.D. U.S History, Milly Lemontagne, weighed in. "If blind management has worked for Mr. Romney's personal finances, why wouldn't he try to employ this method with an amount of money 18,500 times more than he has to his name?

"Let's not forget, too, that Romney is putting money into the pockets of foreign investment planners. This bodes well--and insert major sarcasm here--for what he'll do with American jobs."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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