Written by jd Balderdash
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Thursday, 16 February 2006

image for Britt Hume Interviews Aaron Burr's Corpse
Hamilton, before getting "peppered" by Aaron Burr

Hot on the heels of his EXCLUSIVE "tell all" interview with Vice President Dick Cheney, FOX's Britt Hume conducted a one on almost one EXCLUSIVE "tell all" interview with former Vice President Aaron Burr (now buried in Princeton Cemetery) about Burr's 1804 duel with President Alexander Hamilton where Burr blew Hamilton's BRAINS out with a single shot to the head with a 56 caliber dueling pistol.

Hume, via Ouija board sat atop Burr's grave in New Jersey Tuesday and asked the former dead vice president,
.
HUME -> Mr Vice President. Even though you're technically .. dead, rotting in a grave, I'm sure you've heard on FOX And Friends about America's current vice president ALSO blowing away a fellow American.

BURR ->

HUME -> The only difference being that you INTENTIONALLY cocked your gun, aimed it at your president's head and with malice afore-thought blew his brains out. Am I correct in that assumption Mr Vice President?

BURR ->

FOX And Friends reportedly will air Hume's 3 hour interview with Burr's corpse over a period of 14 consecutive FOX And Friends mornings. Hume says that he might attempt a subsequent interview with Aaron Burr's corpse, perhaps this time at NIGHT .. during a full moon .. wearing an owl's beak in hopes of getting "more verbose" responses from the dead former vice president.

Dick Cheney, now exonerated of all "bad feelings" and "negative karma" after his Hume interview says that he will not do any more hunting .. until next Quail season .. when all this media fueled hype has "blown over" and everyone's forgotten about the whole affair. Sources report that Cheney spoke with Hume after Hume's Aaron Burr interview saying,

"At least I PEPPERED my prey from 30 yards away. Burr on the other hand BLASTED the President of the United States from TEN yards away. Point that out to The FOX Friends can you Britt? Ted Kennedy and Lionel Lionel while you're at it."

Harry Whittington, the Texas lawyer "peppered" by Cheney is as usual reportedly "doing well" even though no human outside of White House physicians has even laid eyes on Whittington since his initial "peppering" in south Texas.

"You don't suppose he's DEAD" David Letterman quipped during last night's show adding,

"At least Aaron Burr took out a PRESIDENT. All Cheney took out was a lawyer. 6 of one, half dozen of the other I guess but how many out there would like to see Bush and Cheney face off in a Crawford Texas Quail hunting match? Show of hands? Is this thing on? Paul? Play something."

PAUL -> Play WHAT Dave?

DAVE -> Oh I don't know Paul .. Hail to the chief I don't know just PLAY something.

In other FOX And Friends News, Dick Cheney today again ADMITTED to shooting his friend after .. shooting his friend. Film at 11.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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